Words

a collection of essays by music hall's founder, Roy Hall

these essays were originally published in copper magazine

Party

Party

“This is S.I. Newhouse’s personal secretary, I would like to invite you and your wife to a party to celebrate the construction of his new apartment.”
read more
Napa

Napa

“Hi Dad. How would you like to be my sous chef? I’m doing a charity event in Napa and I’ll need a assistant.” Ilan, my son, was the winner of Top Chef… I had to say yes.
read more
Moscow

Moscow

“Please list every single foreign trip you have taken.”
read more
Crazy Horse

Crazy Horse

“C’est mon mari!” yelled Arianne as we rushed into the kitchen to help her husband.
read more
Taxi

Taxi

The four of us shuffled into the doctor’s office. An old man gazed at us from behind his thick glasses. “Drop them!” He growled. “And the underpants!”
read more
Heart

Heart

Hong Kong is a western sea of tranquility amongst the tumult of China. It is also a place where English is ubiquitously spoken.
read more
Hong Kong

Hong Kong

Hong Kong is a western sea of tranquility amongst the tumult of China. It is also a place where English is ubiquitously spoken.
read more
Motherwell

Motherwell

Furniture stores are magnets for small kids. All they see are bunk beds to climb and mattresses to jump on.
read more
An Interesting Day

An Interesting Day

“You should visit the Yakeshi Factory in Foshan,” my friend Richard said. “They make really good products, and after every one of my visits, they send me back to my hotel with two girls for company.”
read more
Arran

Arran

Invest in a new distillery in the Isle of Arran. Your £450 payment will result in 12 cases of blended whisky and as a holder of a Founders Bond.
read more
Citizenship

Citizenship

“Oh, you speak English? Thank God. You’re the first one today,” said the immigration officer.
read more
Trade Shows

Trade Shows

“Roy, I need you to be on your best behavior,” said my friend Tony who worked for Epos Acoustics…
read more
Discipline

Discipline

As a kid growing up in Glasgow, Scotland in the 1950s, it was not at all unusual to receive a whack if you did something wrong.
read more
Suicide

Suicide

As I age, I become aware of my mortality. My wife and I have talked about what to do if one of us becomes brain dead.
read more
Whisky

Whisky

Somehow, through luck and later, skill, some of the distillers started making and bottling single malt whisky that was drinkable. And that’s the best part of this tale.
read more
Masumi

Masumi

“Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?” “Yes,” she replied, to my great astonishment.
read more
Education

Education

“It’s your move Roy. The bet is two shillings and hurry up, it’s almost lunchtime,” said my English teacher.
read more
Cairns

Cairns

In cold, wet, miserable Glasgow the idea of just wearing swimming shorts and walking barefoot in the sand was enormously seductive.
read more
Love Stories

Love Stories

After dinner, I said, “Would you like to go somewhere beautiful?” She looked at me as if I was mad. “More beautiful than this?” She was hooked, and so was I.
read more
Sinai

Sinai

“It’s Syriac,” he said. “It’s the script used by the Nabataeans over two thousand years ago.”
read more
Concerts

Concerts

Unsurprisingly, music has played a central role in my life. Music can be emotional, erotic, transcendent, hypnotic and, in some cases, downright terrible.
read more
Hotel Tales

Hotel Tales

“You’re a doctor, aren’t you?” she said, eyeing me. “No,” I replied. “I’m a bullshit artist.”

read more
Escape

Escape

“Line up against that wall” said the Captain to my uncle Fred. “Platoon. Get ready, take aim…”

read more
Belmont Park

Belmont Park

She was a head taller than everyone else, and moved like a real thoroughbred. If anyone truly belonged at Belmont, it was she.

read more
Cancer

Cancer

“What’s that black circle?” I asked the technician while looking at the ghostly images on the screen.

read more
Jerusalem

Jerusalem

She said, “If I would have come here 9 months ago, someone would have shot at me.”

read more
Vikingbåde

Vikingbåde

“I wish this boat would stop rocking so much,” I groaned to myself as I opened my eyes and looked in the bathroom mirror.

read more
The Engagement

The Engagement

“Goodbye” I said with a smile as I stepped over the two bodies twitching on the ground.

read more
Macy’s

Macy’s

I was given a key to the senior executive washroom, allowing me to pee alongside the big shots in the store. What a thrill.

read more
Dickens

Dickens

“You’re going to see that wee, fat conceited bastard?” said the owner. “Why?”

read more
Fort Peck

Fort Peck

“You won’t find a hotel room anywhere for the next 300 miles.”

read more
Rikers

Rikers

“Roy, would you do me a favor? Can you visit Sammy in Rikers Island?

read more
Jazz

Jazz

“God bless you honey, God bless you”, said Alberta Hunter to my mother.

read more
Eating

Eating

“If you touch me again,” I yelled, “I will kill you”— and I meant it.

read more
Opportunities

Opportunities

“It was the Armani coat that sealed the deal,” said Mike Creek. “What Armani coat?” I asked.

read more
Gatecrashing

Gatecrashing

Drescher, in her distinctive nasal Queens, New York twang gratefully came back with, “Thank you so much; I love meeting my fans.”

read more
Art 2

Art 2

As he lay down in bed, my father noticed a window set high up on the wall. This was odd as the window to the outside was on the opposing wall.

read more
Summer Holiday

Summer Holiday

He led us through some corridors and into a courtyard. He pointed to a wrecked Ferrari sports car and proudly said, “Look, accident!”

read more

  for support, please call (516) 487-3663 or email us at info@musichallaudio.com

for support, please call
(516) 487-3663
or email us at info@musichallaudio.com